On Wednesday afternoon, Vanity Fair published a review of the Trump Grill — the restaurant at the lobby of Trump Tower which served the President-elect the famous — or infamous depending on one’s perspective — taco bowl.
The review was as unflattering — and as entertaining to read — a review as has been written about any restaurant, and it was appropriately titled ‘Trump Grill Could Be the Worst Restaurant in America.’
“The allure of Trumps restaurant, like the candidate, is that it seems like a cheap version of rich,” Tina Nguyen wrote, saying that the restaurant “reveals everything you need to know about our next president.”
Nguyen went on to describe the food her table ordered starting with the “Ivanka Salad”: “Our table nevertheless ordered the Ivanka’s Salad, a chopped approximation of a Greek salad, smothered in melting goat cheese and dressing and missing the promised olives, that seemed unlikely to appetize a SoulCycle-obsessed, smoothie-guzzling heiress.”
And then, the burger:
“Renowned butcher Pat LaFrieda once dared me to eat an eyeball that he himself popped out of the skull of a roasted pig. That eyeball tasted better than the Trump Grill’s (Grille’s) Gold Label Burger, a Pat LaFrieda–branded short-rib burger blend molded into a sad little meat thing, sitting in the center of a massive, rapidly staling brioche bun, hiding its shame under a slice of melted orange cheese. It came with overcooked woody batons called “fries”—how can someone mess up fries?—and ketchup masquerading as Heinz.”
Truly, nothing short of reading the entire article will do it justice, if not for getting an opinion in case you were thinking about dining at the billionaire’s steak joint, for the sheer entertainment of the way the author describes every aspect of the dining experience.
Of course, many, including this writer, would not have ever read the article and had the such a wonderful start to their day, had the thin-skinned, vulgarian, who is our now President-elect had not taken time from his busy schedule of fending off intelligence briefings in order to focus our attention on this literary masterpiece.
Early this morning, just hours after the article was published, the man who admittedly does not read and has no interest in reading tweeted:
Has anyone looked at the really poor numbers of @VanityFair Magazine. Way down, big trouble, dead! Graydon Carter, no talent, will be out!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 15, 2016
Thank you, Mr. President-elect.
The thoughts and opinions expressed here are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of CitizenSlant